Stress Management

These days when life has become so fast paced & we spend much of our time wondering where exactly the hours have gone, stress & stress related illnesses are becoming an increasing part of our lives. Our bodies are not really designed to cope well with constantly heightened tension & anxiety levels (although there are some people who seem to thrive on this).

Here again it is thought that moderation is the key. Many scientists believe that a certain amount of tension is necessary to maintain health, ie. we all need to experience a certain amount of tension / excitement, perhaps of waiting for an announcement, such as your exam results or the outcome of a job interview. What causes a problem is when our autonomic nervous system, which is the system affected by tension, fear, anger type emotions, enabling us to facilitate an appropriate response to the situation - or the "fight or flight" syndrome, is bombarded by a continuous stream of tension, anxiety, fear etc.

This in turn leads to a kind of system overload & causes the autonomic nervous system to go on strike, leading to exhaustion & a flattening of mood as we are no longer able to respond appropriately to the emotional overload we have experienced. Stress related illnesses can include Depression, Hypertension, Heart problems, Allergies & Heartburn.

These are real illnesses which require medical attention. Another possible effect of prolonged stress is post traumatic stress syndrome or PTSD where we may have coped effectively with the stressful event as it occurred but then later, perhaps we can't stop thinking about it & the autonomic nervous system "forgets" to stop sending out signals to the rest of the body warning it of threat & keeping it in a heightened state of awareness until it reaches the "on strike" stage.

How then can we deal with stress on a daily level so that we don't experience this problem with our nervous system?

Simple methods for dealing with stress & anxiety involve several factors. Eating a balanced diet, getting enough sleep & making space in your day for some "me" time are some of the most basic helping factors. "Me" time can be a work-out at the gym, a dance class, a meeting with a friend, reading a book or taking a leisurely soak in a scented bath. Whatever makes you feel good about yourself counts here. (Sometimes these things need a counterbalance, for example if eating a litre of ice-cream makes you feel good about yourself, you would need to limit this activity & factor in the calories involved to your daily allowance in order not to gain weight rapidly & maybe then begin to feel bad about yourself?)

Techniques for reducing your feelings of stress in real time include some very simple things, like:

Making a conscious effort to find something to smile about. Whilst you are focusing on finding something good to think about, you are letting go of some of the thoughts that are causing you tension. So if you are in a roomful of people that you don't know & this is making you anxious, whilst you are scanning the room looking for someone you know, consciously think of an event or a situation which has made you happy & smile, you will be surprised by how many people will want to talk to you if you are smiling & looking comfortable, as if you belong, (laughing out loud is not a good idea here as it tends to have the opposite effect so do be careful what you choose to think about!).

Teach yourself the difference between aggression & assertiveness, learn to use assertiveness for yourself & to recognise it in others. Being assertive involves standing your ground, calmly & quietly, not allowing yourself to be backed into a corner or overlooked. Assertive is when you are feeing threatened in some way & instead of responding with aggression by maybe shouting or lashing out, or perhaps cowering in you corner, you approach the cause of your fear. For example if someone is trying to put you down in some way, being assertive might involve calmly asking them why they feel the need to behave that way, maybe asking them why they seem to feel that it is necessary to belittle you. At this point you would be aiming to "take the wind out of that persons' sails" by highlighting their bad behaviour & your own adult response to it, turning the situation around on them. Don't get caught up in a shouting match or flounce out of the room, neither of these responses, remotely counts as assertive & both will lessen your standing in this situation & create more stress for you in the long run.
When you respond to somebody in an assertive way you are giving them back responsibility for their behaviour rather than blaming yourself for it & allowing them to make you feel more stressed or inadequate.

Breathe slowly & deeply, it is difficult to experience a high level of stress when you are breathing deeply. As you breathe in, think of the situation that is causing the problem, then as you slowly exhale, concentrate on letting go of the stress emotion & allow your mind to clear a little, a solution or suitable response will usually come to you. If you open your mind by letting go of the stress, often a solution will seem to pop into your mind from nowhere. Whereas what really happened was that previously your mind was too full of the stress to be able to allow the solution any space.

Learn to like yourself. Work hard at whatever you choose to do but always remember that you are human, & as humans there are times when we will all make mistakes or find things difficult. As humans we are allowed.
Set small goals for yourself that are obtainable. Break down tha major achievement you want to make into small steps that you can take towards it & acknowledge your success to yourself as you make these small steps. Celebrate the little things that you achieve along the way so that you can fully enjoy that big goal when you have attained it. If you have a plan, or structure to follow to enable you to reach your goal, you are far more likely to achieve it as your mind will be able to come up with solutions to each of the smaller problems that you encounter along the way & deal with them without losing track of that overall aim.

Don't tell me - sounds too easy to be true! Believe me it sounds easier than it is, but as many life coaches are teaching these days, the simpler methods are often the best.
Working to achieve the small things that will help us to reach that big goal enables to have fun & experience some personal development & happiness along the way.
If we are only focused on the bigger picture all the time, we risk losing not only any vestige of self-awareness we may possess but also the ability to enjoy it when we do get there.

(taken from : here)